Hope in the Lord

In Psalm 146:3-4 it says Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no help. When his breath departs he returns to his earth; on that very day his plans perish.These verses spoke out to me the most in the chapter.  A friend of mine once told me that they were tired of turning to relationships for “water”, only to come up dry.  I have experienced a bit of what that means in my relationship with Gordon.  It is so easy to pick up the phone and call, to turn to the other person for emotional/spiritual support.  I find myself caring more about what he thinks of me than what God thinks.

I trust Gordon a lot, but he is human and has disappointed me in the past.  (As I know I have also disappointed him too)  I know it in my mind, but what about in my heart?  I was reminded lately about how God is the only one who is steadfast and unchanging.  He is the one in whom we should ultimately put our hope and trust – people fail us and disappoint us, but God will never let us down.

It’s not wrong to hope for things in the future, but how do you make sure you’re not overly trusting/hoping in other things, other than God?

The aroma of Christ

Despite having a nose that is stuffed up cuz of allergies 3/4 of the time, I think I’m pretty sensitive to smells.  When I enter a new environment, I’m quick to sense the smells that are lingering in the air.   I quite enjoy some smells – coffee beans/coffee, fresh laundry, fresh bakery…  Lately, I’ve experienced Gordon’s good and bad smells.  Most of the time, he smells good and clean.  (Thankfully, he does have good showering habits and plus he uses cologne)  But he also gets pretty stinky after playing soccer, to say the least. =P
Yesterday, I went to a bbq and I didn’t bring a jacket, so Gordon let me borrow his sweater.  Instinctively, I sniffed the sweater (mostly because I wanted to make sure it’s clean).  It smelled freshly laundered and faintly of him.  Mmm…I kept sniffing it last night and today.  Yes, I’m very weird.

But as I was sniffing, I thought about the aroma of Christ.  In 2 Corinthians 2:12-16, Paul speaks to the church of Corinth about how they should be “Ministers of the New Covenant”.  For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.  To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life.  (v 15-16)

So what does it mean, to be the “smell of death” and also the “fragrance of life”?  Smell of death reminds me of b.o.

As it says in my bible “Paul describes believers as being displayed by God to the world as a triumph and trophy of Christ’s redeeming grace.  Through this triumphal procession, the knowledge of Christ and the redeemed lives of believers are manifested as a sweet aroma before God and humans.  To God it is pleasing; to humans it results in life or death.”

God is pleased when we smell like him!  Do I smell like God’s cologne?  Am I representing Him in such as way that He smiles down on me?  Sometimes it’s just a simple act of acknowledging other people.

Today a brother shared about his experience this summer, serving and reaching out to the street youth of downtown Toronto.  Like my friend Clarah, he spent a night out on the streets to experience firsthand what it is like to be homeless.   One thing that really stuck out to me in his sharing was the part about his panning for money…..He shared about how it meant so much to him when people just smiled and acknowledged that he existed.  I don’t know why it’s so hard sometimes, but I know I shy away from people who are without homes.  I say it in that way because often times, we like to label people.  They’re “this type”, they’re “prostitutes”, they’re “pimps” etc.  In the book “Cross Cultural Servanthood”, the author spoke about how these are just labels, and when it comes down to it, they’re just people…people in prostitution, people without homes.

As I head back to the loo in Sept, I pray that I would discern where God wants me to be, and more importantly, to continue to grow more and more into the person He wants me to be.

What’s your problem?

i’ve been really bothered with someone lately. he’s a leader of the church, gifted, active, sporty, adventurous…just a well rounded “good guy”. he’s one of those guys who would call you up in the middle of the night and tell you to eat something he just cooked up. how random, but that’s how friendships are a lot of times. there’s no set agenda or program for people to meet up. you just call each other when you feel like it. before i dated jacqueline, i remember telling her how this guy is one of my big brothers to me. someone who can be accountable to me and at the same time have ‘good times’ from all the impulsive things he does.

however, all had changed around the same period when i started dating jacqueline. the spontaneity, impulsiveness, adventure, and fun all died between me and him. i remember there were a couple of times i shouted at him and called him a ‘wiener’ for not calling me up no more. all he said was, “your busy all the time” or “woa, fighting words.” maybe he feels like i’m not the same person anymore. maybe he feels like i got tamed after being in a relationship. or maybe i haven’t been communicating enough about my immediate dating relationship. whatever it is, it’s fishy and it smells like it has something to do with jacq and i.

lately, he’s the same guys for the past 9 months. sound alright, but not really. everytime he puts me down or says something harsh, i always question myself: “gordon, are you just being a tad too sensitive?” i don’t know what to say. i just thought i’d be more patient with him and myself. maybe things will change. maybe we hit something along the way, and things will turn out to be better in the near future. well, things didn’t get better and if anything, it got worse. i remember what steve chu, one of our guest speakers at scbc said once about ‘reconciliation’. a lot of times, you’re not doing the other person who hurt you a favour, but yourself a favour. when we don’t reconcile with the person who wronged you, we dwell on those thoughts and eventually turn green like bitter melon. others can taste the bitterness in you. whatever we plant, we harvest (as Rob Bell says) i think one day those thoughts will rupture and burst out into flames. just the other day, he said something that made me stop and think, which means it’s not just your average joke. i almost wanted to hurt him really bad (physically), but i didn’t. i don’t how much longer i can go on with this. i knew God is trying to say, “stop crying out to me and move!!” i have to take the initiative and reconcile with him. today, i wrote him an email, showing how he hurts me and i even said how i was close to physically hurting him. all in all, he’s still a great guy and a big brother that i look up too a lot. i know that emails aren’t as good as one-on-one, but it’s a start. hopefully, things do get better between me and him.

It’s the Lord who does the “work”

In reading this passage from Acts, I noticed something pretty neat…

On the Sabbath we went outside the city gate to the river, where we expected to find a place of prayer. We sat down and began to speak to the women who had gathered there. One of those listening was a woman named Lydia, a dealer in purple cloth from the city of Thyatira, who was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to respond to Paul’s message. When she and the members of her household were baptized, she invited us to her home. “If you consider me a believer in the Lord,” she said, “come and stay at my house.” And she persuaded us. (Acts 16:13-16).

The context of the “story” is, Paul, travelling with Tim and Silas, finds a group of women gathered to worship God (probably in the open) in Phillipi. I’m surprised at how Paul and his companions actually sit down with them and minister to them the gospel message. (I don’t know exactly why, but I have a bit of beef with Paul and I have a “vibe” that he doesn’t really like women…maybe because he tells men to stay single if they can help it, cuz basically, women are “trouble” – they distract you from doing God’s work).

Anyhoo, so Lydia is this God-fearing, wealthy businesswoman-from Thyatira, a city in the Lycus Valley in the province of Asia that hears Paul speak…and she responds. But the really neat thing is, it says The Lord opened her heart to respond to Paul’s message. I was thinking…what if “the Lord opened her heart”-part wasn’t there? Ie: “Lydia heard the message and responded”. It just really shows God’s involvement in reaping the harvest. I guess so often we think the onus is all on us and we can fall into the trap in believing it is by our own tricks and by our own words that people turn to Christ.  But we can only do things through Him.  God had to first open Lydia’s heart before she could respond.

In the biblegateway commentary it says:

Before salvation the heart–the inner life, the center of personality, the seat of spiritual and intellectual life (Sorg 1976:182-83)–is so controlled by sin that it is either slow to believe or actually antagonistic to the gospel (Lk 24:25; Acts 28:27; 7:51, 54). Only if God prepares the heart by opening it–enlightening it to understand the gospel, moving it to desire the salvation blessings (compare 24:32)–and strengthening its will to decide for and endure in the Lord (11:23) will it become the “noble and good heart” that receives salvation (Lk 8:15). What must I do to be saved? Listen to God’s Word in such a way that you find him opening your heart to follow it.

The whole “why does God open some ppl’s hearts and not others” question (predestination/election) sort of follows, doesn’t it?

In any case, I pray that I would continually realize that it is God who works through me…and apart from him I can do nothing.

Preoccupied with self

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. -Phil 2:3-4

I’ve been really focused on myself lately.  Maybe moreso than before.  I am ashamed to say that most of my thoughts have been centered just around me, me, me, me, me…. I need this, I need that.  To a large degree it’s demanding/expecting others to meet my wishes and do what I want them to. 

To go along with that, i have been finding myself judging others merely by appearances, and putting others down in my mind to stroke my own self-esteem. 

But in the context of Philippians 2, Pauls talks about humility.  Jesus humbled himself and became obedient to death.  Similarly, we should humble ourselves and consider others as better. 

What does that mean?  Well, I was reading the commentary on Philippians 2 and I think it’s pretty clear:

Humility is thus not to be confused with false modesty (“I’m no good”) or with “milquetoast,” that kind of abject servility that only repulses. Rather it has to do with a proper estimation of oneself, the stance of the creature before the Creator, utterly dependent and trusting. Here one is well aware both of one’s weaknesses and of one’s glory (we are in God’s image, after all) but makes neither too much nor too little of either. True humility is therefore not self-focused at all but rather, as further defined by Paul, considers others better than yourselves.

Wowzers

- Inspector Gadget

 I can’t believe it’s been more than a month since I last blogged here!  I apologize for not staying on top of my commitment to blog weekly.  I know busy-ness is not really a valid excuse, but yeah…I have been running around trying to do a lot of things.  Most weeknights I’m too tired to actually do anything constructive. 

Yah, as Gord mentioned, the main lesson I’ve been re-learning this term has been about bending myself to make people happy.  For the past while, I’ve been feeling a constant stress to please people and to not fall short of their expectations.  I try to please other people over God and I try to show people the “good side” of me.  It was getting really draining…  Finally, I stopped and thought about what I was doing – how it’s not benefiting others by putting on good-girl facade, and how it was hurting me and most importantly, GOD.  I know in my brain that I’m valued just because I am a child of God, not because of what I do.  But sometimes I don’t believe it in my heart.  Although I still constantly struggle with pleasing people, I am trying to step back and see the “bigger picture” time and again.

SOOOOOO….I have still been keeping up with readings, even though I have not been blogging.  I really love Jeremiah (the book) now!  At first, I found the book pretty depressing.  I mean, for the past 2 months at least, we’ve been going through the history of Israel and Judah.  In almost every chapter, prophets tell people to turn from their sin, or they will be destroyed.  And yet the people don’t listen!  *sigh*  Of course, I know I often am stubborn like those nations and am unwilling to repent.

Some things I’d like to note quickly…

But if I say, “I will not mention him or speak any more in his name,” his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot. – Jer 20:9

I love the imagery I see in this passage.  Jeremiah had a really tough job!  I mean, who wants to be the deliverer of bad news?  But even though he tried, Jeremiah could not keep himself from prophesying God’s word.  He just HAD to tell people about God and God’s message.  I think the fire Jeremiah speaks of is the Holy Spirit…and it’s just so powerful!  I see the “fire” in people who really love God, who do live by the Spirit.  I want more of that fire!

See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant. – Jer 1:10

Many of my coworkers love gardening.  I don’t know very much about it, but this passage reminds me that before you can plant something new, you have to dig up the ground and uproot any old weeds/roots.  As a Christ follower, I need to stop once in a while and see if I have any old weeds/roots in my life is preventing me from being fruitful.  Am I withholding any part of my life?  Am I compartmentalizing my life? (Ie: this part is God’s, this part is mine)

‘Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.  I will bring Judah and Israel back from captivity and will rebuild them as they were before.  I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me. Then this city will bring me renown, joy, praise and honor before all nations on earth that hear of all the good things I do for it; and they will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant prosperity and peace I provide for it.’  – Jer 33: 7 – 10

After hearing so many of God’s warnings to turn from sin, lest He destroy Judah and Israel, I breathed a sigh of relief when I read God’s promise of restoration in Ch 33.  God is just and will punish those who sin against him, but he will not destroy his people completely.  (Well, there is such a thing as blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.  But that’s another can of worms.)   Anyways, my point is…God’s love for Israel and Judah is greater even than their sin against Him.  For some unknown reason, God can’t turn his back completely from his chosen people.  How can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I hand you over, Israel? How can I treat you like Admah? How can I make you like Zeboiim? My heart is changed within me; all my compassion is aroused. – Hosea 11:8.

Pretty amazing stuffs.  Wowzers.  

Not for men, but for God

oh man, it’s been a while since jacqueline and i have blogged on 2tone. when i bumped into pastor christine at church over the weekend, she turned around and said, “you haven’t blogged in a MONTH!” she caught me, haha! yea, i do have to apologize for my lack of commitment. i haven’t actually forgotten about blogging, it’s just always in the back burner. excuses, excuses…i know that won’t cut it. i guess commitment isn’t the easiest thing, it’s often a struggle and a battle. i know that intially 2tone was meant to be part our reflection on God’s word. and blogging is just part our quiet time with God. for those of you who have been punching in and out of 2tone, i’m sure you have a hunch that we’re not doing too well. i have to admit that i’ve been slacking off and i haven’t been totally focused into my quiet time in the past few week. thankfully, we haven’t given up reading and we are well past our half way point of our bible-in-a-year challenge.

even though we haven’t been completely studious and meditative lately, the few times that we’ve come together to reflect, we mentioned how much we are saddened to hear the news in the book of kings. it was just endless accounts wickedness after wickedness that the kings of israel and judah have committed. everytime there was a king who did right in the eye of the Lord, there was so much hope, but the hope quickly dies as the following king reigns. i thought, “stupid israelites, they should have just listened to God when they wanted elect Saul as the king over them. so jacqueline and i were thinking, “what went wrong? king josiah did good in the eyes of the Lord, but why was his son, Jehoahaz, such a bad king? was it lack of discipleship?”

anyway, let’s get to the recent stuff. the book of kings was last month . lately, we’ve been reading the book of jeremiah & matthew. the book of jeremiah can be another depressing book. the countless amount of wrondoings that judah committed led God to give up on them. yup, they really did it this time. but i don’t think God chose to speak through jeremiah without a purpose and perfect plan. when i read chapter 16 today, it hit me hard, because it recalls what jacqueline and i discussed last night. lately, we’ve been ambushed with a lot of social affairs. a lot of these affairs were meant to bring fellowship and glory to God, but i can confess that i haven’t been totally honest to myself. at the end of the week, we felt like we were pleasing men over pleasing God. in fact, jacqueline wrote a whole blog on it on her princesspaupr.com page. when i dropped her off last night, we confessed to each other how exhausted we were in every aspect. now that we’re completely drained, there was only one thing that we wanted… God and His hand on us.

when i read this passage today, i just thought how great God is to show our deepest struggles through His word. the coolest part is how this passage echoes on psalm 1:

This is what the LORD says:
“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who depends on flesh for his strength
and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

He will be like a bush in the wastelands;
he will not see prosperity when it comes.
He will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.

“But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.

He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”

The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:5-9

and v.10 says, “I the LORD search the heart
and examine the mind”

just what we needed

Remembering God’s faithfulness

In the passage I read today in Numbers 13-14, the story was about Moses and his sending out leaders to explore the land of Canaan.  Throughout the journey of the Israelites, I see how again and again they complain to God about different things.  Whenever they are lacking food, water, meat they cry out to God.  As they complain, they often think back to their lives back in Egypt and wish to be back there.  Of course, they forget how they were slaves, how they were oppressed by the Egyptians and life was hard, if not harder than in the desert.

As much as I think the Israelites are often a bunch of “wussies”, I think I can relate to a lot of their actions, and their thoughts.  I’m not much of a gambler.  I don’t like to take risks.  And so, I’d rather take a sure small win, than gamble for the big win.  Similarly, I think know how the Israelites might’ve felt in the desert.  Life was pretty unpredictable, and they weren’t sure if God would provide THIS time.  Sure, God had put all those plagues on Pharaoh and He’d parted the sea, and He’d brought them victory in battle…but would He deliver THIS time?   At least in Egypt they had a routine, stability etc..  But in the desert, they really had to put their faith and trust in God.

Whenever we’re going through difficult times, unsure of the future, I think it’s important to reflect on the past and all  that God has done.  God will never let the righteous fall – He will uphold them with His right hand.  At this stage in my life, with almost finishing my undergrad and the future career stuff looming over my head, sometimes it gets a little unbearable.  I feel like I have all these expectations from parents, friends, the church, myself…I think instead of looking and focusing at my own abilities, I should look up and remember we have a God who is capable of doing much more than we can ever ask for and imagine.  Of course we shouldn’t “spiritualize” things, and not act and sit and wait for God to provide a job/career etc…But we should pray in faith that He will give us what we need, and He will give us what we ask for, if it is in line with His perfect will.

Now, let’s make some apple crumble.

Martin Luther & John Calvin & Reformed Theology

so jacq and i were busy making errands around town yesterday. before school starts again for me and work for her, we had some time to plan and fix things around the house. as we were driving in my car, for some odd reason, we started to talk about theology, reformed theology. honestly, i’m no theologian myself, but i have some opinion about reformed theology. jacq asked, “what IS reformed theology?” well, i think it would be neat unpack an aspect of it in this posting, and does theology have to be reformed?

misconceptions of reformed theolgy:

- reformed theolgy did not derive from the reformation period of luther (caused by Calvinist “Reformed” against the Lutheran thought of the time)
- TULIP and the doctrine of reformed theolgy isn’t the theology John Calvin (it was the theology of the followers of Calvin)
- Lutherans and Calvinists did not disagree on predestination; they had different perspectives on communion

perspectives in worship:

Lutherans (not Luther), like Catholics, believes that communion was a literal discension of the Christ’s body into the altar of the church. Calvinists, on the other hand, believes that the power of the Holy Spirit takes believes into the heavenly throngs to foretaste the kingdom of God. It is neither symbolic or literal, but there is a true divine action for the church to partake in the sacrament.

the 2nd fold of reformed theology says, “Based on God’s word alone.” in history, calvinists took that as…whatever the Bible doesn’t say, we shouldn’t do. catholic were zealous about dressing up their churches with symbolic art. calvinists saw that as unnecessary because statues and symbols can create false idols. lutherans see worship as…whateva the Bible doesn’t say is wrong, we can do. they are compelled to worship through the arts. how does a calvinist see art forms in relationship to church worship?

so yea, a small study on the history and thought of reformed theology. in my opinion, i think theology is just a man’s way of thinking of God(’s word). humans have a natural tendency of fixating to one particular model of thought. i think that has dangers on its own. i know that my school teaches and focuses on ’systematic’ theology. so what does that mean? false doctrine, or something weaker than another? no matter what supreme theology it is… if it isn’t taken to the heart of worship and christian lifestyle, i say it’s just trash like the pharisees in the Bible. as disciples of Christ (in context of the global church), we have to learn how to communicate with our neighbour brother and sisters, in different Christian theologies and Christian denominations. are we concerned more about head knowledge that withers, or knowledge that produces a stronger love for Him and His people.

S.O.S

this is different from the usual 2tone post, but it’s something that i find compelling to share with y’all. methodology for your ministry:

(+) = “have”, (-) = “don’t have”

Strategy. Opportunity. Strength

S     O     S

+     +     +     = full speed ahead

+     +     –      = get outside resources

+      –     +     = educate, motivate, entice

-      +     +     = go ahead, then re-direct

+      –     –      = pray

-      +     –      = re-direct

-       –     +     = arrange to serve elsewhere

what stage does your ministry fall into?